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Fighting, bathroom and Father’s Day Questions – Answered!

Q: Why are my children constantly fighting?  They are 4 and 6 and constantly battling each other?

A:  Awww, this question brings me back to the 80’s, when life was much simpler…for me, and it was my job as an older brother to make it not as simple for my younger brother.  Those were the days (sorry Scott).
Siblings will fight and we have to come to accept that no matter how much we want them to be best of friends, this is still a reality. I would like us to take two views on this question.  1st the older sibling.  Before “the other child” came into the house life was sweet for them.  They had everything to themselves, toys, parents, space.  And now they are expected to share everything and will not get a break for the next 18 years.  Their lives/universe has been turned upside down just as they were getting comfortable and getting stability.  Do you blame the older one for not getting along.
Next, the younger one.  Most children from a young age want to be accepted by their peers, and siblings are no exception to this.  So what is a younger sibling to do when they cannot tie their shoes, run as fast, or help in the home as much as their older sibling?  Do what any child that has poor coping strategies does… get mad.  Children want to please and will try till they cannot try anymore, and then will mad at the first person they see.  And when everyone around them is 5 feet or taller, guess who the victim will be. 
When it comes to sibling rivalry one has to be patient with children and explain to each why they do what they do.  As for what to do for the older child, the parent could explain that they are teachers and how cool of a job that is.  And the younger may benefit from learning new coping strategies, like counting (if they can) or having a self directed time out spot. 

Q: How can I get my daughter to let us know when she has to go the bathroom?  She will go when we take her, but that’s it. 

A:  My first question back to you is how verbal she is?  There is the always just getting her to tell you when she has to go and explaining why this is important but we will look as to why she may be doing this.  Potty training can be a huge learning experience for everyone.  A child at this stage of development is still learning what their body can do and discovering they have abilities to hold their bladder.  Some children (especially ones that are not as verbal) still are not sure what this feeling is or even how to put it into words.  Now as for the parents, be on the lookout for physical signs they may be on the verge of starting something.  A sudden pause and look of confusion may be one, but you will have to read your child on this one.  And when starting to train remember that children always want to please their caregiver and very rarely will mess themselves on purpose. 

Q: What does dad want for Fathers Day?

A: Meat that has been cooked over some type of fire and something that requires gasoline or batteries to run and the tools to fix it.  And of course lots of hugs and kisses.
Happy Fathers Day everyone.

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Comments

  1. The Sunshine Crew says:

    Thank you for your informative answers to those issues.
    Have a happy Father's Day and happy birthday.
    Tim, the boys, and I are looking forward to having you, Jody, and the girls visit.
    Have a happy birthday from all of us,
    Colleen, Tim, and kids

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