We are in the process of moving. Our home is currently up for sale. I am hoping our home will sell before September 1st, though I know that unrealistic. We’re more than likely looking at moving for October 1st, a month after R starts school. We’re moving to a completely different city. This means, a new school a month into the school year. We’ve talked with R about this and he seems fine, for now.
My question is; how can we make the transition easier on R? Thankfully, the schools are the same; they’re both fully French Catholic schools. The education itself shouldn’t be much different.
A: I think that it is wonderful that you are thinking about the wellbeing of R during this transition period that is tough not only on him, but the rest of the family unit. My first advice to you is to look after yourself. This may be a nice cup of coffee of your choice every day or special movies of some type, but you have to exercise proper self care. If you cannot look after yourself during this stressful transition time and show to R that you appear to have everything under control, than that will raise his stress levels as well. This also shows R the importance of looking after you, which will be a good lesson for the future. Next is to look after R. R will need lots of reassurance about what his happening. You have talked with him about this and I think that is very cool. Talk with him more and more and more about this! Get him excited about what positive changes will be in this new school, neighborhood and community. If possible I would take a weekend trip to this new place and show him some of what he thinks may be the “cool” things there. Get him excited about what is coming. It is also important to note that most children at this age have a difficult time dealing with multiple emotions. As adults we can be happy and sad at the same time, children cannot grasp this concept and will be either one or the other. This is why it is important to talk with him about what is happening in a positive way that will make him excited about what is to come.
And on a completely separate note I think it is very cool that you are sending your child to a French Catholic school. So as a way to help you with this I will rewrite my answer to you en français (Thank-you Google Translator)
A: Je pense que c’est merveilleux que vous pensez sur le bien-être de R au cours de cette période de transition qui est difficile, non seulement sur lui, mais le reste de la cellule familiale. Mon premier conseil est de vous preniez soin de vous. Cela peut être une bonne tasse de café de votre choix tous les jours ou des films spéciaux d’un certain type, mais vous devez faire preuve de bons soins de soi. Si vous ne pouvez pas prendre soin de vous pendant cette période de transition de stress et de montrer à R que vous semblez avoir tout sous contrôle, que va élever son niveau de stress ainsi. Cela montre aussi l’importance de la R s’occupe de vous, qui sera une bonne leçon pour l’avenir. Suivant est de s’occuper de R. R aurez besoin de beaucoup de réconfort à ce que son passe. Vous avez parlé avec lui à ce sujet et je pense que c’est très cool. Discutez avec lui de plus en plus en plus à ce sujet. Attrapez-le excité par ce que des changements positifs sera dans cette nouvelle école, le quartier et la collectivité. Si possible, je prendrais un week-end à ce nouveau lieu et de lui montrer certains de ce qu’il pense peut-être le “cool” il pense. Faites-lui heureux de ce qui est à venir. Il est également important de noter que la plupart des enfants de cet âge ont un moment difficile la gestion des émotions multiples. En tant qu’adultes, nous pouvons être heureux et triste en même temps, les enfants ne peuvent pas saisir ce concept et sera l’un ou l’autre. C’est pourquoi il est important de parler avec lui de ce qui se passe dans un sens positif qui fera de lui heureux de ce qui est à venir.
Q : Well this is not really a question, but the Mommy Moment Facebook page has generated some talk about asynchronous development. So I will try and explain what this is and what to do about it. *this answer will have absolutely no French translations following the answer
A: To best define this lengthy word we can start by stating that child can be broken down into three basic categories: physical, intellectual and emotional. Now most children will develop at the same rate on all three spectrums, however if a child has a higher intellectual level than their physical age their emotional age may to suffer. Following me? Children who have a higher intellectual age may have difficulty with peer relationships and may not act according to their chronological ages.
I often see this with my oldest child who I like to think is very intelligent (dad’s have a right to brag), however she is very shy around everyone and will revert to a younger age when challenged; both at home and at school. When faced with a child of this character, there are a couple of things you can do. The first is wait it out. Often times their “imbalance” will level out as they get older and their social skills will eventually follow their chronological age, however it is important to note that these children may tend to have a more introverted personality. The next thing that can be done is challenge them a little more. These children want to be challenged intellectually so why not feed that desire. By giving them what they want in this spectrum, the intellectual spectrum may grow, and the emotional spectrum may follow suit. And as a parent it is important to realize that our children are not acting younger emotionally to get back at us, rather they are doing this because that is how they feel comfortable expressing themselves when challenged. As parents it is vital to recognize how our children feel. We need to accept the challenges our children have and make them feel comfortable with us because as parents we are their everything! If we make them feel uncomfortable about expressing themselves now, we will be in for a real roller coaster when they get older.
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Amy Gerber
Monday 9th of August 2010
I think we, parents, are doing the right thing when consider our kids' interests before anything else if there's a major change coming up such as moving. The thing is, however, we stress out much more than kids do. The change is way harder on us because children always go through a transition period with much courage and spirit. My son joined the already well-functioning class where kids had long been friends - he felt awkward for an hour or two, by the end of the day he had a couple of new friends and was filled with excitement. Do I need to say that I was stressing out for weeks, terrified if he will comfortable in a new class. What a waste of my mental health!
Pinching Abe
Saturday 7th of August 2010
I think parents feel bad moving during the year - I know I would! If we had to, I'd do it though and just be extra attentive to any special needs.
I'm here from a blog hop, nice blog!
Movers Vancouver
Friday 6th of August 2010
Moving to a new place is always not an easy job. Loving and caring parents definitely worry about their kids and during move they make sure that at new place their children get proper schooling and every other facility which they were getting here at current place.
And I think parents also care about the moving process, because if it is some tiresome and hard then it also affects everybody.
Selecting a good mover is not an easy task either.
Alex
Friday 6th of August 2010
Hi Trevor!
Thanks for the information :) I appreciate your help!
Talking with Racer is always something we've done. He's old enough now to have an input (in our opinion). If he wasn't ok with the move, we probably wouldn't do it. Probably being the key word of course lol because I'm not happy where we live now and I know I'll be happy in this other city.
We'll definitely keep up the discussions with him. He's actually going with my husband tonight to see our new townhouse that we're signing the lease for!! He'll get to pick his room :)
Living the Scream
Friday 6th of August 2010
I had never heard of the word asynchronous before. You explained it really well and got me thinking about my kids and how I can encourage them intellectually and emotionally thanks!