Everybody Needs a Hero

A group of moms was discussing Mother’s Day, comparing sleep-ins, brunches, and time spent alone.  For the most part, it seemed like everyone had a great day all around.

But, at some point, the conversation shifted.  Suddenly, the focus became about the fact that daddies tend to become the hero on the weekends.  Daddies come in and make family time fun.

At first, I thought this was a good thing.  It quickly became clear that there was some resentment lurking beneath the surface.

EVERYBODY NEEDS A HERO

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On some level, I completely understand.  Moms, whether at home or at work, work hard all week with parenting duties, cleaning, laundry, and cooking.  We take on the sicknesses, long nights, endless carpools, and temper tantrums.  We deal with the worst of the worst.  It’s part of the job.

We try to be the fun ones too.  We schedule trips to the zoo, the aquarium, museums, and just about everywhere else when the time allows.  But, we don’t always get to be fun.  Cooking, cleaning, rules, and behavior often get in the way.

Cue the dads (or sometimes Uncles or Grandparents).  The kids flock to them and stick to them like glue for two days straight.  They can do no wrong.  They are the weekend heroes.

I can understand why that might be defeating on some level.  We work so hard all week, but the glory goes to the dads on the weekends.

I have to say, I really like it.

Honestly, I live for it.

My husband isn’t always around on the weekends.  In fact, he sometimes travels for very long periods of time.  So I LIVE for the hero.  Doesn’t everybody need a hero sometimes?

When my husband is around for a weekend, it means he takes our daughter out during our son’s nap.  This means two hours of alone time for me.  Often my only me time all week.

They go to the music store to play drums and look at guitars, they go to Starbucks for scones or Pinkberry for yogurt, they go to the mall, the bookstore, the fountain…the adventures are endless.  She loves every minute of it.  They come back happy and energized.  It’s often their only daddy/daughter time during the week.

And then our son jumps in and takes over.  He talks non-stop about his cars and holds races with daddy.  They play together, go for walks together, and have some much-needed daddy/son time.  He can’t get enough it.

My husband and I are a great parenting team, so when behavior requires correcting he jumps right in.  He doesn’t try to avoid the bad and only focus on the good. But because there are always two of us around when he’s home, he can do the fun stuff.  He can take long bike rides with one and then come back and focus on the other.  He can hold sing-alongs or focus entirely on one pretend scenario at a time.  He doesn’t have to be pulled in two different directions all of the time.  He can do the things that I can’t do on my own.  He can be the hero.

I see the look of awe on their faces in response to just about everything he does, and I hold them tight when they cry for him when he’s on a long trip.  My heart breaks for them when they beg me to find him on the computer but I know that he’s deep in recording mode and can’t break the stride.

So when he comes back and their faces light up in a way that I haven’t seen in weeks…there is no envy.  There is no feeling of defeat.  There is only love…and relief.

Because the real secret here is that he’s my hero too.

I work hard to raise my kids and fill their days with love and happiness, no matter the circumstances.  So when our family hero shows up and gives me a couple of hours of silence, I can only be thankful.  Mommy needs to recharge too.

Who is your child’s hero?

You may also like this post on HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR SPOUSE WHEN YOU’RE BOTH STRESSED:

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