The woman inside the mom

This week on Baby and you ~ The woman inside the mom.

I have often heard middle aged women talk about the empty nest when their children grow up and move out. They have focused almost two decades solely on their children that they now struggle to find their identity once again.

I look at the stage of life I am in with my 2 little girls and quickly realize that my life revolves around them. From the moment they were born they were 100% dependent. The self-reliant, independent me was taken over by the mom that lives and breathes and talks only of her precious children.

Here are some ways that I am trying to maintain my own identity while nurturing and fulfilling the role I love as a mom.

Let my baby grow up

Children need to learn independence from a young age.  Babies grow. As much a I want my youngest daughter to be my baby forever, she is growing up. I no longer need to change dirty diapers or spend nights rocking her in the rocking chair.

Many moms, myself included, continue to ‘baby’ their children because it is the faster and easier way to do things. Instead of letting my 36 month old daughter put on her own shoes and jacket when we go out, I often have the urge to do it because I’m in a hurry. This only creates more dependance on me.  I need to stop and listen to her when she says “Me do it”. By giving her more responsibility as she continues to grow, I lesson the chance of becoming the mom who can never find herself because she is doing everything for her kids.

Me Time

I’ve learned that taking time for me not only helps me maintain my identity, it also helps me be a better mom. I am fortunate to have a husband who believes that he is an equal parent. He helps me with household duties and ‘parents’ the girls so I can go out and get my hair colored, or grab a coffee with a friend.  If you are a single parent or do not have support from your partner, it is equally important to make time for yourself.  Don’t let mom guilt take over!

Group Therapy with Friends

Talking with friends helps. I realize that I am NOT the only mom who sometimes forgets the woman inside.
Whether it’s on the phone, through social media or in person, be honest about your feelings. Knowing that we are not alone is great therapy for us all.

Do you still know the woman inside the mom?

(I am a Mom Blogger for the Loblaws Baby and You Facebook page. This post is also being published as a note on their page. Please come by and leave a comment there too!)