May 31, 2013 turned out to be the day that I dreaded for my entire life.
Losing Someone You Love
I debated about sharing my story on the blog, but for some reason it just felt like if I wrote the words down it would become more final.
Death
It’s not a word people like to talk about. It’s not a word I like to talk about. But it’s been almost a month and I feel that sharing is a part of healing.
My grandma died on May 31,2013 with my hand tucked into hers.
Grandma was a person who always believed in me, she encouraged me and cheered me on when I felt the world was against me. In fact, I find no coincidence in the fact that my article “How my past has shaped my future” in the Canadian Family magazine was published in the May issue – the same month she died.
My grandma was a lady who always looked for the best in every situation. She saw good in people when everyone else gave up on them. My grandma taught me so much, not by the words we spoke to each other daily, but by the way she lived her life. I complimented my grandma a lot, I would always tell her how much she meant to me and how I could never live without her, she always replied with “Oh Jody, You are sure good at spreading that peanut butter on too thick”…Grandma never wanted people to praise her.
5 years ago my husband and I bought my grandparents house when they had to move to a smaller place without stairs. Shortly after we bought the house my grandpa passed away. I couldn’t stand the thought of my grandma being lonely. Even though we talked on the phone daily, I knew that would not be enough. I remembered reading somewhere that widows always found the weekends to be long and lonely so I thought that having supper together every Monday night would be something my grandma could look forward too. My girls loved the time with grammy. They would draw pictures of old farm houses and do handwork together while I got supper ready and on the table. As soon as supper was done my hubby would tell my grandma and I to go sit in the living room while he cleaned up and washed the dishes. I loved this time with my grandma – we talked, we laughed, we cried and sometimes we just sat quiet. You see, we had a bond that I wish every grandchild and grandparent could have. One that I will never be able to capture with words.
It’s been 30 days since she went to her forever home.
Today my husband was doing some work on our veranda, I wanted to phone grandma to tell her all about it since she loved seeing the work we were doing on her old little house. The tears started flowing, I can’t imagine forever without her but I’m so glad that I will get to see her in heaven again one day…until then, I have a million memories that nobody can take away.
Have you ever lost someone you loved?
Asiya @ Chocolate and Chillies
Sunday 7th of July 2013
I am so sorry for your loss...as someone who never really go to know their grandparents (3 passed away before I was born and my grandfather passed away when I was less than 10 and he lived in India) I have to say you are very blessed to have had your grandmother in your life for so long and to have her so close by. My father passed away in February and sometimes it feels like it just happened although soon it will be 5 months. Thanks for sharing your story.
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Monday 8th of July 2013
Asiya, I'm sorry for your loss. I am so blessed to have had such a close relationship with my grandma - I miss her so much.
Nena Sinclair
Thursday 4th of July 2013
Thanks for sharing, Jody, I have a huge lump in my throat now. I've lost my Dad, my sister and 2 brothers, as well as many aunts, uncles and my grandparents. Losing someone you love is so very difficult. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my family members who passed on much too soon.
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Friday 5th of July 2013
{Hugs} Nena, I'm sorry you've been through so much lose :(
Tara Gauthier
Wednesday 3rd of July 2013
My grandmother passed away when I was nine at possibly the worst time in my life. She had received a heart transplant some years before and it started to fail. My mom was in a new relationship and married my my stepdad not long after and had the first of their kids together. I was having a hard time with my mom's new relationship and how they shut out my dad. Turns out I was right as my stepdad turned out to be abusive towards my brother and I but treated his kids totally different. My mom stayed with him. It was a pivotal point and I sure could have used my grandmother who was always such a huge part of our lives and spent so much time with us they had such a hand in raising us when we were younger. She appeared to me the night she passed and told me everything would be okay. I had never believed in "spirits" and such before but knew that experience was real and just what I needed. I still miss her so much and in the end things eventually worked out when I got the courage to leave home when I was older and take care of myself.
Angie@Echoes of Laughter
Tuesday 2nd of July 2013
I am so sorry for your loss Jody and I know how much it hurts. I was extremely close to my Grandma too and I could NEVER imagine my life without her. She has been gone for 11 years now and I think about her every day. And I still think with the mindset that," Grammie would have loved....". It never goes away. I try to do small things to honour her life. I celebrate her birthday each year by having lunch out with a few friends. I used to go with my mom and aunts, but since I moved to Edmonton and they are all in Nova Scotia, that is not possible. My grandmother loved a special lunch out. And she loved pretty tea cups, so I have tea in a pretty cup and I often think of her. And I often go through her old recipe box and look at her handwriting and fondly remember the recipes that she used to make thatI loved as a child. I try to keep a little bit of her with me each day! I wish I could take you out for a special lunch and give you a hug, but please know that I think about you every day! All my love, Angie xo
Chelsey
Tuesday 2nd of July 2013
I'm so sorry about your Grandma's passing. I'm glad that you had such a close relationship with her and that your girls were able to have that special bond with her too. I love the picture of your Grandma and your daughter knitting together -- so beautiful.
I read your article and have to say I have always found you to be a confident and kind person. I had no idea that you'd been bullied. It just goes to show that we can rise above our circumstances -- especially with the love of those around us pouring into us...
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Wednesday 3rd of July 2013
Thanks for your kind comment - we truly can rise above and become better and strong people because of what we have gone through in our life. I miss my grandma, but am so incredibly blessed for all the years I had her in my life.