We’ve written about how It Takes a Village – about how us moms need a support system. Often that support system comes in the form of our children’s grandparents. However, there is a line between helping and hovering.
There’s a name for grandparents that hover – Helicopter Grandparents. It can be hard to navigate this type of relationship.
SIGNS OF A HELICOPTER GRANDPARENT
- they call or check in multiple times a day, or week
- they are unaware of healthy boundaries and invade your personal space
- they lack a job or hobbies
- they are emotionally needy
4 TIPS FOR DEALING WITH HELICOPTER GRANDPARENTS
EVALUATE THE RELATIONSHIP. Start by taking an in-depth look at your relationship. Do any of the above 4 traits fit? It may be hard for you to be objective in evaluating if it is a helicopter situation. Ask your partner or close friend to help you evaluate.
SET STRONG BOUNDARIES. While it might be tough at the beginning, setting strong boundaries will help strengthen the relationship between you and the helicopter grandparent. Let them know which behaviors you don’t appreciate and what a better response would be.
STICK TOGETHER. Whether it is your parents or your in-laws who have the helicopter grandparent tendencies, it is important that you as a couple are united in your requests.
GIVE A LITTLE. While you have set rules for your children at home, be conscious of the fact that when they are at Grandma’s, the rules might be slightly different. As long as the grandparents are aware and abide by allergies and safety rules, allow the grandparents to spoil and treat the children.
Dealing with helicopter grandparents can be tricky.
You were raised by your parents, who did their job and sent you out into the “real world”. At this point, you are ready to take on life on your own and raise your own family. But who would know that parents could turn into helicopter grandparents causing trials, pain, and even separation between grandparents and their children and grandchildren?
Have you had to deal with helicopter grandparents?
You may also like this post on THE RISE OF THE HELICOPTER GRANDPARENT:
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