How We Got Our Toddler to Sleep


By Kate Hayes

My husband and I have just discovered a secret that NO ONE told us about in our year of struggling with a toddler who doesn’t like to sleep at night.
 
It is profound. Read on.

First, a little back story. This is Kellen. He is now 27 months old. When Kellen was 14 months old, he learned how to climb out of his crib. Ever since then, we have struggled off and on to get the kid to a) stay in his bed; b) actually go to sleep in his bed; and c) stay asleep in his bed all night long. At times, we have been able to do one or the other. Rarely have all three goals been accomplished on the same night. Dealing with Kellen’s sleep issues has basically been like living with a newborn for two years. Exhausting!
The last few months have been especially bad.

We bought a new house the day after Kellen turned two, and a few weeks later, we kicked his bottle habit. I think the combination of those three factors made his sleeping issues worse than ever. It started taking us two hours (or more) to get Kellen to fall asleep at night. He started telling us that he was “skeered” of everything. He screamed every time we left his bedroom, and would then come running out. He basically wanted one of us to sleep on his floor all night long. If we tried to slip out after he fell asleep, he would immediately wake up and start screaming and crying all over again. It was horrible!

Kyle and I got lots of advice from well meaning friends and family members, and even pediatricians, about how to get Kellen to embrace bedtime. Everyone shared the tactics that worked for their kids…and that should, in theory, work for all kids. Not our stubborn little Kellen.

Equally stubborn, we refused to let him sleep in our bed, thinking that would only lead to permanent bad sleeping habits. But we were really at a loss about how to get that kid to embrace sleeping in his bedroom by himself. Until about a week ago, when it hit me: We don’t.

Some kids don’t sleep by themselves. Some kids SHARE BEDROOMS WITH THEIR SIBLINGS. (Duh!)

Our five-year-old daughter, Anna, was generously open to the idea of her little brother spending the night on her trundle bed.  He was equally thrilled. We put him in bed. We walked out of the room without a major meltdown. The kid practically slept all night long. We were thrilled. Could the answer really be that simple?

Yes.

For more than a week now, our son has been sleeping peacefully in his big sister’s room. I think that her mere presence eases his fears and fulfills his need to have someone bigger nearby at all times during the night. We watch them in the video monitor, and see how quickly Kellen is soothed by his Anna’s assurances that all is well every time he “hears a noise.” He believes his sissy. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he looks over and sees Anna there…and instead of screaming for us at the top of his lungs, he rolls over and goes back to sleep.  God bless trundle beds. And God bless Anna.

I really can’t believe that we didn’t think of this arrangement sooner. And the more I have thought about it over the past week, the more I have thought how unnatural it is for us to put toddlers off in their own rooms anyway. For thousands of years, families have slept together. And now, for some reason, Western Society has veered from that. For my kid, it goes against his nature.

If you are dealing with a sleepless toddler, and you have an older child, I strongly encourage you to give room sharing a try! Some kids just need to be near other people when they sleep. It might be the answer you have been praying for.
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