Today we are going to talk about raising internally motivated children.
Wouldn’t it be incredibly awesome if kids did everything without being asked? Everyone knows that is not possible simply because kids are not necessarily wired that way. They naturally want to do things their own way, which sometimes means doing the opposite of what a parent asks of them. I believe that you can raise internally motivated children when you are intentional about it.
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HOW TO RAISE INTERNALLY MOTIVATED CHILDREN
GIVE YOUR CHILD RESPONSIBILITY:
One thing I’ve noticed is that my kids are much more likely to be motivated when they have responsibility. If you raise your children and never ask anything of them, why should they be motivated to do anything? Think about it: we do laundry because we need clean clothes, right? Well, it’s important to instill this concept in our children.
BE AN EXAMPLE:
If you want to raise internally motivated kids, then it’s important to be a good example. Don’t expect something out of your kids that you are not willing to be yourself. If your kids can see you do things without delaying or being asked by someone else, they will see that you are very internally motivated and that will trickle down to them.
LOVE YOUR KIDS NO MATTER WHAT:
Your kids need to see that you love them whether they are internally motivated or not. However, kids who are loved and know they are loved are going to be more willing to do things on their own. They’ll spend less time sulking and more time being motivated in life. You are a major key to your child’s emotional success.
LET THEM PRACTICE:
Give your child a chance to be motivated at doing things in life. Present them with opportunities and let them fail (and succeed!) on their own. Life is all about choices, and given the right ones, your children will soar.
Let me give you a personal example of this one. I let my 10-year-old cook and bake all on her own. My husband and I have been an example to her and taught her the basics – now when she cooks/bakes we stay out of the kitchen unless she asks for us. It motivates her to do her best and not have mom try to tell her how she could do it better or what she is missing – giving her the chance to practice on her own really motivates her. If she makes a flop it motivates her to try harder next time. She also knows that cleaning up is part of cooking/baking so she does that on her own now too. Now when she sees me cleaning in the kitchen, she is motivated to lend a hand because she knows that it is work.
How is that for helping you raise your children to be internally motivated? I’d love to hear your tips for this as well.
Be sure to check out the books Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World and The Parent’s Guide to Raising Independent, Motivated Kids!
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