You have made it through the 4 a.m feedings, survived the colic, and the so-called terrible two’s when your child was a toddler.
You have lived through their first day of kindergarten and faced many a meltdown. You are strong and amazing. You are a parent.
So, why does the idea of having a teenager still scare the daylights out of you?
TIPS FOR MANAGING AND UNDERSTANDING YOUR TEENAGER
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When you take into consideration the fact that the teen years are a time of intense change and growth, you will find out that you are rightfully scared.
Not only are your children changing emotionally, but also physically and intellectually and it makes absolute sense that you are feeling a little overwhelmed. Chances are they are too.
Although you may start butting heads with your child more, these are the formative years that give you the chance to help your teen turn into the amazing adults they are destined to be.
PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES
Remember, it wasn’t that long ago that you too were a teenager. Try to find common ground and a way to relate to how they are probably feeling. There are so many changes happening with your teenager that they may be having trouble understanding what is going on with them. They may feel as though they are grown up one second, and the next as though they are still little.
Let them know that that is ok.
TALK OFTEN
There are probably so many questions that your teenager is looking for answers to. Make a point to sit down and have a conversation with them, allowing them to ask questions when they feel comfortable.
It is also important that you allow your teen to lead the conversation sometimes. This will help them to know that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say while also facilitating a good, communicative relationship.
SPEND TIME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY
They say the family that plays together, stays together.
Even though your teenager may be feeling “too old” to participate in family game nights or movie marathons with you, they certainly are not.
Set time aside frequently to engage with your teenagers. If they are reluctant, allow them to choose the activity, be it bowling or catching a movie together at the theatre.
SHOW AN INTEREST IN THEIR ACTIVITIES
If your teenager is part of a club at school or participates in team sports, make a point to be involved.
Sharing something they enjoy with them is an amazing way to facilitate a close relationship.
Coach their soccer team if you can, organize an after-school chess match with their friends or even just be present. You showing an interest in what your teenagers do is an amazing way to show them that they can count on you.
DON’T BE THEIR FRIEND
They don’t need any more friends. Remember that.
What your teenager needs is a parent, so while it may seem easier to be that cool parent that let things slide often, you are only doing a disservice to your child. Always remember to set clear, age-appropriate limitations and boundaries.
There are many ways to take the time out to understand and parent your teenager. Just remember that it is important to note that this is a confusing time for all of you and navigating it together is the best way through.
You may also like this post on HOW TO BUILD A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER:
Jodi
Thursday 25th of January 2018
Yes, parenting teens is such a challenge. My oldest daughter is a freshman in high school, and I'm glad I have always kept the lines of communication open with my kids. Although, they do like to hold things close to their chest as they get older. I always try to make sure I give her a safe environment to say whatever is on her mind.
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Saturday 27th of January 2018
Sounds like you are doing a good job with keeping the communication open. This parenting thing is not always easy!
LaShawn
Thursday 25th of January 2018
Great post! I am NOT looking forward to having a teenager! Managing an 8 year old is hard enough.
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Saturday 27th of January 2018
You got this mama!
Marcie W.
Thursday 25th of January 2018
Excellent advice for navigating the teen years and super appreciated. My oldest is only 13 but I can already see how tough this stage is going to be!
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Saturday 27th of January 2018
Thank-you! I hope these tips will be helpful. It may be hard, but hopefully these things will help.
Kristi
Thursday 25th of January 2018
Great tips. We have two 13 year old girls right now. Day to day is how we roll and for the most part have been coasting along really well. We all have moments though :)
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Saturday 27th of January 2018
Glad to hear it is going well, especially x2!
Desiree Lopez
Wednesday 24th of January 2018
I have two teen daughters and let me just say they can be a handful! Luckily we have been able to keep a close relationship. I think the reason why we are able to keep the lines of communication open is because they know I respect them as individuals and am always willing to listen to what they need to talk about.
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Saturday 27th of January 2018
That is so good to hear that even though they are a handful that you have a close and open relationship!