You never really know what someone may be going through behind closed doors. When someone is trying to conceive there could be many different challenges they are facing.
While it is natural for you to want to provide words of encouragement, you may be making things worse.
22 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT SAY TO SOMEONE TRYING TO CONCEIVE
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Let’s be real for a second.
Infertility is an incredibly sensitive topic. There are a variety of reasons that someone may be struggling to get pregnant, and sometimes the things they hear from the people around them can make their worries worse.
Comments, that may seem like kind words of encouragement or simple suggestions, can actually be devastating to those trying to get pregnant.
No matter the reasons for your suggestions, there are some things that you should never say to someone trying to conceive.
Just relax! You will probably get pregnant as soon as you stop trying so hard.
You’re so young. You have plenty of time.
Adoption is an amazing option. There are so many kids out there that need good homes.
Guess what?!? I’m pregnant, and we weren’t even trying!
Any luck yet?
Don’t rush things! Enjoy your freedom.
Have you seen your doctor?
Maybe you need a second opinion.
Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you going to try IVF?
Has your husband been checked out?
It will happen if it’s meant to be.
Hey, maybe you are just meant to be the cool aunt.
I just had to look at my husband and I got pregnant.
You can always get a dog.
How often are you “trying?”
When are you going to give your little one a sibling?
If you’re this stressed about conception how will you be able to handle being a mom?
It will happen naturally when the time is right.
Hey, at least you don’t have to deal with morning sickness yet.
Labour sucks anyways, so be happy you’re avoiding it.
You can babysit mine anytime, then you might change your mind.
Saying any one of these things can be extremely hurtful to anyone that is trying to conceive. It is a good idea to avoid asking questions, providing advice or giving suggestions.
You never know what someone is going through, and you wouldn’t want to be the person that made it all worse.
If you know someone is struggling with infertility it is better to try to acknowledge that they are in pain, instead of dismissing it.
Tell them that you are there to talk if they need to but leave it at that. Never act as though you know what they are dealing with because you don’t.
Another good piece of advice is to just never ask anyone if they are going to try for another baby. It really isn’t your business and you never know if someone has already been struggling with infertility.
Always choose your words carefully and be mindful of others.
22 Things NOT to Say to Someone Trying to Conceive
- Just relax! You will probably get pregnant as soon as you stop trying so hard.
- But… you’re so young.
- Adoption is an amazing option. There are so many kids out there that need good homes.
- I can’t believe it, I am pregnant, and we weren’t even trying!
- Are you pregnant yet?
- Don’t rush things! Enjoy your freedom.
- Have you seen your doctor?
- Maybe you need a second opinion.
- Are you taking care of yourself?
- Are you going to try IVF?
- Has your husband been checked out?
- Maybe it isn’t meant to be.
- Hey, maybe you are just meant to be the cool aunt.
- I just had to look at my husband and I got pregnant.
- You can always get a dog instead.
- How often are you “trying?”
- When are you going to give your little one a sibling?
- If you’re this stressed about conception how will you be able to handle being a mom?
- It will happen naturally when the time is right.
- Hey, at least you don’t have to deal with morning sickness yet.
- Labour sucks anyways, so be happy you’re avoiding it.
- You can babysit mine anytime, then you might change your mind.
You may also like this post on 5 WAYS TO ENCOURAGE A FRIEND:
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Lisa J O'Driscoll
Monday 30th of April 2018
YES! It took us years to get pregnant (we had actually given up) and I got to where I wanted to smack the people that said we'd get pregnant if we stopped trying. The funny thing is that that's the way it really happened, however that's the LAST thing you want to hear after a gazillion negative pregnancy tests.
The worst part was when I was hanging out with friends just after we'd done fertility and it hadn't worked. My one friend kept complaining about how hard her pregnancy had been (this was a year later...10 years later she STILL complains about it) without any thought to the fact that I was desperate to get pregnant. It wasn't on purpose, she talks without thinking, but it was still upsetting.
Great post!
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Monday 30th of April 2018
Lisa, Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I am glad you left a comment and that this post was one you connected with. I am sorry for the insensitive things your friend said - I hope this post will be a reminder for people to think before they say something that could be hurtful.
kristen visser
Friday 20th of April 2018
These are all good things to keep in mind talking to someone who is trying to conceive ! sometimes things do slip up and you don't realize it till after, but its good to remember to be aware. my best friend has been trying now for over a year and when people would see her have a glass of wine they would comment "oh i guess your not pregnant yet" or if she wanted to hang out they automatically thought she had news to share. sometimes these things take time. you have to be repectful and understanding of that